The Cycle Of Addiction

Going through a list of 12 Step Groups, I figured I could belong to at least 9 of them.  My teenage years were a real nightmare.  I first got  drunk when I was 13 on Johnny Walker Red Label Scotch.  I then added pot to the mix.  I continued this for five years of hard partying.  I ended up in treatment after this period.  To add some real strangeness to this equation, I went to treatment at the same hospital that I was born.  I went at Easter time which is a time of rebirth.  I have some songs that mark both sides of the addiction.  The first song is "Sloppy Drunk" which describes my drinking.  I used to smoke so much dope, so I offer this song "Don't Bogart That Joint."  I found this little thing based on R Crumb's art work "Stoned Again" that was as close to how I felt most of the time. 

When I was at my very first meeting at an outpatient treatment center, the guy leading the group mentioned that sobriety was like the title of the Rolling Stones song "You Can't Always Get What You Want."  This song has always had special meaning for me that has helped me in ways I can't even imagine.  In a couple of months after sobering up, I had my eyes opened to the power of the Grateful Dead.  I found that the song "Wharf Rat" would take on a meaning of connection, redemption, and service to others.  This was something that I had been seeking all my life.

I would like to say that it has been easy, but I'd be lying through my teeth.  This is the reason for this blog.  In some ways, I'd like to think of it as record of life lived or being lived  As for now, I have been sober for over 24 years as of December 30, 2009.  I've had a slip that caused me to learn a few things.  The most important thing is this: No matter how bad life gets don't use any booze, pills(not perscribed by a doctor- follow the perscription), or chemical even if your ass falls off.  It won't help; it will just make things hundreds of times worse.


Music for today:

Grateful Dead
September 3, 1972
Folsom Field
University of Colorado
Boulder, CO
listen here
monster of a show over 4 hours (I was having difficutly with my WMP today)